Racism and Resources

You have heard me say time and time again that your story matters. Now I feel it is imperative for me to say this: Black stories matter. It is also crucial that I listen to those stories. And then change and grow.

I’d like to share some resources that have been highly recommended to this end.

(Note: Clicking on these links will take you straight to their Amazon pages where you can purchase. I am a registered Amazon affiliate. Whether you purchase through these links, prefer to purchase elsewhere or check out at a library doesn’t matter. What matters is doing the work of listening and learning.)

There are many more resources but this is a good start. Personally, I will be starting with me and white supremacy.

Continue to share your stories. And live a story worth telling.

Lemon Oreos…

… or Bearing False Witness

Getting our youngest ready for school can sometimes be a challenge.  He is easily distractible, and I often spend most of my morning following up on him.  This morning I came out of the bedroom, where I was getting ready to leave, to make sure he had fed the dog.

“Yes.”  He said with a completely straight face.

Sanders, the Hungry Dog
(He may or may not be named
after a Democratic Socialist)

My mommy senses went on alert immediately.  I glanced outside and could see that our dog was in the exact same spot as earlier and the dish was empty.  There was not enough time for him to have eaten all his food. 

“Really?”  I asked.

“Yes, Mom.  Really.”

What followed was a short discussion on lying.  Providentially, we had just covered the 10 Commandments in our church last Sunday, so we were able to harken back to “bearing false witness” and how our lying causes others to lose faith in us.  We become untrustworthy. Then he lost all electronics for the rest of the day.  Because.  Lying.

Later, I was at the gym…

Ok.  Time out.  Disclaimer:  I JUST started doing this regularly.  I am not a gym rat.  Yet.  Now back to your regularly scheduled blog post…

I was at the gym and trying to figure out what I should eat for breakfast.  I began logging my food two days ago and I am loosely trying to use Weight Watcher points to curtail my overeating and eat healthier things. So, I wanted to know what my options were for today.  As I was calculating todays options I remember Last Night.  Yes.  Last Night.


You see, at around 9:20, right in the middle of watching the new episode of “This Is Us”, I had an emergency.  It was a Lemon Oreo Cookie emergency and involved 6 cookies with no justification whatsoever.  The thing was I did not log my emergency into my food log.  So according to my app I was pretty dang successful yesterday.

This all came flooding back to me this morning as I was planning what to eat today.  And it occurred to me.  I was “bearing false witness” against myself.  Nobody knows about my food log (well, now YOU do).  Who was I hurting by not being truthful about what I ate?  Me.  I was hurting me. I was causing myself to lose faith in myself.

Sometimes we blame aspects of our self-worth on others and that can be completely legitimate.  Abuse, bullying, snark, rejection… they can all contribute heavily to the way we value ourselves.  However, those small moments when we cover up, hide, “bear false witness” can eat away at our confidence bit by bit, causing us to lose faith in ourselves.

Right before writing this post, I pulled out my phone and recorded my Lemon Oreo emergency from last night.  And, yes, it put me over my point total for yesterday.  But the important thing to me today is that I am being honest with myself.  Instead of chipping away at my faith in myself, I am practicing faithfulness.  Today anyway.

What false witness have you been bringing against yourself?  What do you quietly bury that could be eating away at your self-confidence and worth?

Often we don’t know how to start living truthfully with ourselves.  Coaching can be an excellent way to identify areas of concern and be strategic about moving forward with confidence.  If that is something that resonates with you, I offer a free 20-minute phone or video consultation to see if coaching is the right fit for you.  I’d love to hear from you and see you start to shape your own story!

The Pebble

I couldn’t believe it.  I had spent the last few days watching everything I ate, making sure I was moving more and been more active then I had been in months.  And there I was.  Staring at a weight GAIN of 3 pounds.  To say I was disheartened would have been a massive understatement.  It was only 6:30 am and this small moment colored the remainder of my day.  The gloom lurked around every corner and skulked behind me like a stray cat waiting to be fed.  And, boy, did I feed it.  Every little thing that went wrong that day took me further into my funk.  And it seemed everything seemed to remind me of those unwanted pounds.  Picking out what to wear.  Deciding what to eat.  Catching a glimpse of my reflection in the store window. 

Fast forward to the following morning.  I looked over at my scale and then gingerly stepped on it.  TWO MORE POUNDS!  WTH??!!  I was just sick.  I went through everything I had eaten the day before.  Started beating myself up for the handful of candy sours that I ate mid-afternoon and the chips and salsa I shared with my husband after the kids went to bed.  And we’re off to the races… my stray cat of misery and me.

The next morning, I took one look at my scale and could feel the tears welling up before I had even stepped on it.  Then I stopped myself.  Who said I had to step on it?  And why today?  Why am I doing this to myself every single stinkin’ day?  The scale’s number had such a huge effect on my whole outlook for the day.  I determined right then that I would only get on that scale one day a week.  Once I made that decision I knew I had to do two things. 

  1. Determine what day that was going to be.
  2. Post a reminder so that I didn’t forget my decision in a conspicuous place.

In case you’re curious, this was my thought process for choosing a day:  Saturdays and Sundays didn’t seem like a good option because Weekend.  Monday was definitively out because Monday’s are hard enough as it is.  I couldn’t pick Tuesday or Wednesday because those were generally the days that I was trying to make up for any damage I did over the previous weekend.  And Friday was out because who wants to START the weekend off on that note… (Scale. Note. See what I did there?) That left Thursday to take on the unenviable, but hopefully redeemable, task of Scale Stepping. I then moved on to creating my reminder.  (see photo)

We have very little real control over the things that bombard us throughout the day.  I’m learning how important it is to take those opportunities we DO have and make whatever positive changes we can.  This little step of deciding to forego a daily weigh in will go a long way in taking back the power from that sinister scale.

Is there a pebble in your shoe? A seemingly small thing that just chafes and wears down your day?  What small action can you take today to shift the power?  Share in the comments below.  We all can learn from each other.

The Difference

“I can’t do this.”

I was pulling my normal crazy of talking to myself but this time my throat was choked with tears and I was peering over my tummy to try to read the scale.

There it was.  The number in all its digital truthfulness.  I had gained again.

Out of deep, long standing brokenness my mind began to twirl with all shades of unhealthy self-talk.

  • I will never conquer the issue of weight in my life.
  • I will always be the “out-going chubby red-head” … you know her, right?
  • Why even bother trying?
  • I’m speaking this weekend… what do I have in my closet to hide behind?
  • They are not going to take me seriously because I’m fat.
  • Why don’t I have any self-discipline?
  • When’s lunch?

Thankfully that very weekend someone entered into my story and agreed to coach me through my weight loss and health journey.  It made ALL the difference.  I have been on my journey for 3.5 weeks now.  I’m losing my cravings for most unhealthy things.  I’m down 8.5 lbs.  I’ve been forced to face the reasons why I want to stuff my face sometimes…even when I’m not hungry.  I am more in tune with my body and what it needs at any given moment.  I’ve realized that I was a Carb-a-holic… is that a thing?  It must be a thing.    I also know precisely why I want and need to do this.  The “why” is critical to success in any endeavor and I don’t know that I would have found it without my coach spurring me to do so. It is not easy.  But having my coach beside me is what has helped me stick it out thus far.  And trust me, 3.5 weeks is a marathon for me when it comes to eating right.

This whole past month just reinforces what I have believed for several years now.  When going through a transition, or stretching a goal, or making big decisions, having a COACH is invaluable.  It can mean the difference between living life in limbo or experiencing fulfilling success.  Why is this?


A coach...

What goal are you trying to crush right now?

Are you facing a transition that’s left you exhausted and bleary eyed?

Maybe you’re stuck and don’t even imagine a next step.

If you fit into any of these categories, perhaps a coach is just what you need.  In my case, I needed a coach within a specific niche with knowledge of a particular way of eating.  In your case, you may need the definition of coach I shared above.  I know that the times I have partnered up with a coach have been the times when I have experienced the most growth.

In 2017 I became certified as a Professional Coach because I have a passion for seeing people light up when they find their passion and purpose.  If you have ever considered getting a coach, I encourage you to reach out.  You will find the prices reasonable and the benefits invaluable.  Shoot me an email or give me call.  Or simply leave a comment below.  I’m excited to see what you do next!