Lemon Oreos…

… or Bearing False Witness

Getting our youngest ready for school can sometimes be a challenge.  He is easily distractible, and I often spend most of my morning following up on him.  This morning I came out of the bedroom, where I was getting ready to leave, to make sure he had fed the dog.

“Yes.”  He said with a completely straight face.

Sanders, the Hungry Dog
(He may or may not be named
after a Democratic Socialist)

My mommy senses went on alert immediately.  I glanced outside and could see that our dog was in the exact same spot as earlier and the dish was empty.  There was not enough time for him to have eaten all his food. 

“Really?”  I asked.

“Yes, Mom.  Really.”

What followed was a short discussion on lying.  Providentially, we had just covered the 10 Commandments in our church last Sunday, so we were able to harken back to “bearing false witness” and how our lying causes others to lose faith in us.  We become untrustworthy. Then he lost all electronics for the rest of the day.  Because.  Lying.

Later, I was at the gym…

Ok.  Time out.  Disclaimer:  I JUST started doing this regularly.  I am not a gym rat.  Yet.  Now back to your regularly scheduled blog post…

I was at the gym and trying to figure out what I should eat for breakfast.  I began logging my food two days ago and I am loosely trying to use Weight Watcher points to curtail my overeating and eat healthier things. So, I wanted to know what my options were for today.  As I was calculating todays options I remember Last Night.  Yes.  Last Night.


You see, at around 9:20, right in the middle of watching the new episode of “This Is Us”, I had an emergency.  It was a Lemon Oreo Cookie emergency and involved 6 cookies with no justification whatsoever.  The thing was I did not log my emergency into my food log.  So according to my app I was pretty dang successful yesterday.

This all came flooding back to me this morning as I was planning what to eat today.  And it occurred to me.  I was “bearing false witness” against myself.  Nobody knows about my food log (well, now YOU do).  Who was I hurting by not being truthful about what I ate?  Me.  I was hurting me. I was causing myself to lose faith in myself.

Sometimes we blame aspects of our self-worth on others and that can be completely legitimate.  Abuse, bullying, snark, rejection… they can all contribute heavily to the way we value ourselves.  However, those small moments when we cover up, hide, “bear false witness” can eat away at our confidence bit by bit, causing us to lose faith in ourselves.

Right before writing this post, I pulled out my phone and recorded my Lemon Oreo emergency from last night.  And, yes, it put me over my point total for yesterday.  But the important thing to me today is that I am being honest with myself.  Instead of chipping away at my faith in myself, I am practicing faithfulness.  Today anyway.

What false witness have you been bringing against yourself?  What do you quietly bury that could be eating away at your self-confidence and worth?

Often we don’t know how to start living truthfully with ourselves.  Coaching can be an excellent way to identify areas of concern and be strategic about moving forward with confidence.  If that is something that resonates with you, I offer a free 20-minute phone or video consultation to see if coaching is the right fit for you.  I’d love to hear from you and see you start to shape your own story!

The Difference

“I can’t do this.”

I was pulling my normal crazy of talking to myself but this time my throat was choked with tears and I was peering over my tummy to try to read the scale.

There it was.  The number in all its digital truthfulness.  I had gained again.

Out of deep, long standing brokenness my mind began to twirl with all shades of unhealthy self-talk.

  • I will never conquer the issue of weight in my life.
  • I will always be the “out-going chubby red-head” … you know her, right?
  • Why even bother trying?
  • I’m speaking this weekend… what do I have in my closet to hide behind?
  • They are not going to take me seriously because I’m fat.
  • Why don’t I have any self-discipline?
  • When’s lunch?

Thankfully that very weekend someone entered into my story and agreed to coach me through my weight loss and health journey.  It made ALL the difference.  I have been on my journey for 3.5 weeks now.  I’m losing my cravings for most unhealthy things.  I’m down 8.5 lbs.  I’ve been forced to face the reasons why I want to stuff my face sometimes…even when I’m not hungry.  I am more in tune with my body and what it needs at any given moment.  I’ve realized that I was a Carb-a-holic… is that a thing?  It must be a thing.    I also know precisely why I want and need to do this.  The “why” is critical to success in any endeavor and I don’t know that I would have found it without my coach spurring me to do so. It is not easy.  But having my coach beside me is what has helped me stick it out thus far.  And trust me, 3.5 weeks is a marathon for me when it comes to eating right.

This whole past month just reinforces what I have believed for several years now.  When going through a transition, or stretching a goal, or making big decisions, having a COACH is invaluable.  It can mean the difference between living life in limbo or experiencing fulfilling success.  Why is this?


A coach...

What goal are you trying to crush right now?

Are you facing a transition that’s left you exhausted and bleary eyed?

Maybe you’re stuck and don’t even imagine a next step.

If you fit into any of these categories, perhaps a coach is just what you need.  In my case, I needed a coach within a specific niche with knowledge of a particular way of eating.  In your case, you may need the definition of coach I shared above.  I know that the times I have partnered up with a coach have been the times when I have experienced the most growth.

In 2017 I became certified as a Professional Coach because I have a passion for seeing people light up when they find their passion and purpose.  If you have ever considered getting a coach, I encourage you to reach out.  You will find the prices reasonable and the benefits invaluable.  Shoot me an email or give me call.  Or simply leave a comment below.  I’m excited to see what you do next!

My Road To Coaching

Several years ago I was stuck.  And I was not happy about it.  In my early-mid forties and I was feeling as if I had peaked in my late 20’s. It was a dark, discouraging place to be.  By chance (or providence) I ran across information for a conference led by one of my favorite writers, Donald Miller.  It was called “Storyline” and hinted at looking at our lives as a narrative.  It sounded intriguing, especially in the mental state I was in, so I signed up.  Storyline completely rocked my world.  For the first time I was able to see how some terrible past experiences could be redeemed.  How they changed me for the better and prepared me for what God had in store for me.

This began a journey that led to adopting our now 9-year old son, joining the board of FASD Network of Southern California and startDonald miller quoteing a support group for members (FASD:  Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder), and to find my own coach.  And here is what I discovered over my three month coaching experience.  I wanted to do what my coach was doing.  I wanted to help people find their purpose.  I wanted to see people break through barriers that ultimately became stepping stones for success.  I wanted to see that moment in a person’s eyes when they realize they had this amazing story inside of them, waiting to be written.  I wanted to see the realization dawn on them that they were the hero in their own story and their story could make a difference in their community and in the world.  Simply put, I wanted to be Yoda.  Or maybe Socrates.  Ask the questions, give the tools, provide accountability and the opportunity to find that spark inside them.  The spark that ignites an amazing epic story.

Your story matters.  

If you need a catalyst to start living out a story worth telling consider working with a personal life coach.  A life coach is not your therapist, your mentor or advisor.  Your coach believes that you have the answers already.  You just need help uncovering them in a confidential and safe place by breaking down your goals into do-able sized steps, and then being held accountable.  A life coach will not critique you or tell you what is right or wrong for your life BUT they will ask the questions that help you unearth the answers yourself.

Have more questions?  Give me a call. Shoot me an email.  I’d love to hear where you are and where you want to be and then help you figure out exactly how to get there!